Новости за 10.05.2024

Eighteen-year-old Barron Trump, Donald Trump’s youngest son, is making his political debut as a Florida delegate to the Republican National Convention in July. What do you think?

WASHINGTON—In an effort to ensure the munitions were completely untraceable, the U.S. military began filing the serial numbers off all missiles being sent to the Israeli government, anonymous sources within the Pentagon confirmed Friday. “In the wake of recent IDF operations in Rafah, we will no longer serve as arms…

CHICAGO—Wincing each time the loud, unnerving cackle echoed throughout the room, every patron at local bar Red Finch was heard to breathe a simultaneous sigh of relief Friday after a drunk guy with an obnoxious laugh got interested in his phone. “Oh, thank God, he’s finally distracted—maybe now we can have a…

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the adorable abominations would not last long, Petco announced Thursday that all human-pig hybrids were on clearance at its retail locations across the country. “Starting today, customers can come in to any Petco store and buy a pink, humanoid pig-man or pig-woman at half price,” said Petco…

JOPLIN, MO—Though decades have passed since the incident that sealed his reputation through childhood and beyond, siblings of Dennis McKee told reporters Friday that their youngest brother’s status within the family continued to be that of the one who threw scissors at their mom one time. “Regardless of anything Denny…

Kicking off festivities leading up to the Summer Games in Paris, the Olympic torch arrived in Marseille where tens of thousands of onlookers watched as it was ceremonially transported from the port to the mainland. What do you think?

PHOENIX—Stressing over the first-time meeting all afternoon, local woman Lisa Stone reportedly felt nervous Friday about introducing her historically hard-to-please parents to her lousy lay. “This is huge—I’ve never brought home such an uncoordinated, selfish lover before,” a visibly antsy Stone said to a friend,…