Новости за 02.09.2015

Welcome to Grim Yelp Reviews, a regular feature where we share people’s worst experiences at the worst places. This week, you either got the Chinese symbol for “respect” or “biohazard,” and you will never, ever know.

It’s been too long since Kelela’s Cut 4 Me redirected airy soul vocals towards underground dance music’s most experimental edge—two years, in fact, and longer since she and producer Kingdom dropped its first game-changing single “Bank Head,” which processed Rhythm & Quad through an anti-gravity chamber.

There are just 21 days until the Autumnal Equinox, which means celebrities only have three weeks to get divorced if they want to join the list of famous people whose marriages have crumbled in the Summer of 2015. The exclusive club’s members include FKA Bennifer 2.0, FKA Gwavin, FKA Lamblake, and, as of today, FKA Chavril.

Taylor Swift’s “Wildest Dreams”can’t be racist! Sure, it’s a highly stylized, white-washed celebration of African colonialism, but—as the video’s director so helpfully pointed out—it also had black people working in production! This video’s best friends are black!

My first white party began, like every good fairy tale, with an emailed invitation from a PR professional.

Feeling pretty impressed with your prosperous patch of tomato plants? Or did you abandon your herb garden halfway through June? Either way, get ready to feel like a slouch: A dude in British Columbia says he’s grown a world record-breaking 44.5-inch cucumber.

Former Arizona Governor Jan Brewer will sue a group of unidentified internet ghosts for using her likeness to promote anti-aging services, unless they stop right now.

Contact the author at dries@jezebel.com.

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Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we get a text message from our best friend Jennifer Aniston that says, “:-\ Justin and I r getting a divorce,” sigh, roll our eyes, respond, “Awww bb want me to come over?” to which she responds, “sure, but i’m fine alone,” sigh again, roll our eyes again, hop in the car and head over to her house, where she pours us a glass of whatever’s cold, and keeps us up until 4:00AM telling us the whole story, at which point she’s like, “You wanna just sleep over?” and... Читать дальше...

Just like the sun, the tides and Twitter backlash, Fox News is predictable. Robert Ailes’ gang of fear-mongering madmen is doing exactly what we all figured they would do and are running all the way down the field with their grand “The Black Lives Matter Movement Is a Hate Group” narrative—which was born, bred and multiplied within the walls of their studios.

You know that Rihanna makeup line that you’ve been lighting candles for every Sunday? Well prepare to cry tears of joy because it looks like it’s finally going to happen...whenever Rihanna gets around to it.

To answer your questions, I do not know why, and I do not know how.

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Today, in the Year of our Lord 2015, the heroically patient myth debunkers at Snopes.com have been forced to dismantle the rumor that Mount McKinley is now called “Denali” again because it means “black power” in “Kenyan.” If every word of that sentence made your bullshit alarm go off, congratulations, you have at least ten firing synapses in your brain.

A word of advice for the parents of teenagers: It’s probably not a good idea to urge your teen child to marry a 51-year-old actor who appeared on Lost a few times. Just ask Krista Stodden, the mother of Courtney Stodden, who allowed (some might even say encouraged) her daughter to marry old-ass Doug Hutchinson at the not-legal-in-many-states age of 16.

In today’s Tweet Beat, Amy dispenses some advice, Shania Twain turns fifty and Kevin Smith makes a pitch.

The American Academy of Pediatrics says you need to talk to your kids about drinking—before they’re a teenager. Before they’re a proper tween, really.

Starting Tuesday, a new Texas law will require that public employees to be given breaks to pump breast milk at work, and that they can’t be fired or disciplined for taking the time to pump. The law benefits public employees like teachers, one of whom told the Texas Observer that she’s had to pump standing up in her classroom, in bathrooms, and in supply closets.

A group of seniors at Trinity Academy, a private Christian school in Wichita, Kansas, have papered over the mirrors in all the girls’ restrooms in an effort to promote positive body image. Rather than their reflections, female students are met with an array of Bible verses and old chestnuts on inner beauty.

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Something wicked this way comes, and that, my friends, is fantastic. The trailer for the newest Macbeth adaption, starring gorgeous creatures Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard, awaits you on YouTube. Your heart will race for its duration.

Yesterday, I wrote a piece about Donald Trump’s growing popularity among Nazis and white supremacists. Today, my Twitter mentions are flooded with angry Nazis and white supremacists. Hm, what could be happening here? What could it — oh.

This week on Bachelor in Paradise, a very familiar face turned up: Chris Bukowski, who was back for the fifth time after embarrassing himself on The Bachelorette, Bachelor Pad, Bachelorette again very briefly, and Bachelor in Paradise season 1.