Новости за 23.01.2024

WASHINGTON—Insisting more people should get to wear an old oilskin hat and smoke a pipe at work, the American populace on Tuesday demanded more jobs in which a person gets to steer a ship with a big wooden wheel. “To rebuild our nation’s middle class, workers will need good, stable jobs in which they navigate the…

BLOOMINGTON, IN—With their audible scoffs ringing out through the establishment, frowning sources at Inkwell Bakery and Café confirmed that the line actually starts back there. “Just so you know, this isn’t where the line begins,” said a patron waiting in the queue, one of many who made stern eye contact and raised a…

With fans waiting in lines for hours to buy the insulated steel tumblers, The Onion asked white girls why they love Stanley drinking cups, and this is what they said.

Ever since his support of an antisemitic Twitter post led advertisers to leave the platform, Elon Musk has attempted to rehabilitate his reputation, most recently by touring the Auschwitz-Birkenau death camp. The Onion examines everything Elon Musk did during his visit to Auschwitz.

The ideal home for someone whose husband didn’t disappear six weeks ago after a fight about paper towels. Master bedroom comes with closet full of clothes for a man of medium height who, really, doesn’t deserve to call himself a man. Interested buyers may bring white wine.

CAMBRIDGE, MA—A new study published Tuesday by the Harvard University Department of Social Sciences found that repeatedly patting one’s thighs still remains the best way to get sat on. “Interestingly, our findings suggest that repeatedly slapping your thighs and gruffly intoning ‘plenty of room right here’ remains…