Новости за 19.03.2024

Russian President Vladimir Putin’s quarter-century rule will officially extend another six years after he won an election against no real opposition candidates and amid harsh crackdowns on dissent. What do you think?

Presidential candidate Donald Trump recently remarked that if he loses the 2024 election it will “be a bloodbath for the country.” The Onion examines what he might have meant by the statement.

WASHINGTON—Stressing that they finally had enough space and couldn’t wait any longer, the nation’s white women announced Tuesday that they had an insatiable urge to have chickens in the backyard. “For the past few years, we’ve dreamed day-in and day-out of building cute little chicken coops and raising our own flock,…

BATON ROUGE, LA—Admitting it was the only way she could accomplish anything lately, local woman Kelley Lawrence reported Friday that she tended to do her best creative thinking when backed into a corner with her livelihood at stake. “The only time inspiration strikes these days is when I’m faced with losing my home…

WASHINGTON—Concluding that it had found no clear reason to doubt the veracity of such emails, texts, and direct messages, the Federal Communications Commission announced Tuesday that all messages it had seen offering free iPads seemed pretty legit. “Usually there are only a few typos, and it all seems above board;…

Boeing’s reputation has suffered serious damage following several high-profile equipment failures, including a door panel detaching during an Alaska Airlines flight. The Onion asked Boeing employees whether they would fly in a Boeing aircraft, and this is what they said.

HOUSTON—Laughing and smiling the whole night as they bonded over Emily Barkan’s flaws, local couple Jay and Brenda Barkan were reportedly really hitting it off with their daughter’s emotionally abusive boyfriend this week. “Andrew is such a gentleman—I was about to suggest Emily stick to salad tonight, but then he…