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Новости за 29.03.2024

Trump Releases ‘God Bless The USA’ Quran

TheOnion.com 

DEARBORN, MI—In an effort to raise money to cover his mounting legal bills, former President Donald Trump announced at a campaign event Friday that he was selling the central religious text of Islam in a special new edition called the “God Bless The USA” Quran. “It’s a very holy book—really the holiest of all the…

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Paris Reestablishes Waiter’s Race

TheOnion.com 

In Paris, 200 servers dressed in their uniforms and carrying trays with a croissant, a cup of coffee, and a glass of water competed in La Course Des Cafés, a race first run in 1914, for the title of fastest waiter. What do you think?

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Nation’s Ex-Boyfriends Drunk As Hell

TheOnion.com 

WASHINGTON—Saying their numbers had been blocked so showing up unannounced was their only option, several concerned sources confirmed this week that the nation’s ex-boyfriends were drunk as hell. “Babe, please, I promise I didn’t mean whatever it was I said or did, and I’ve changed, see?” said an inebriated Jason…

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