Новости за 06.02.2024

Following a procedure to reduce an enlarged prostate, King Charles III, 75, was diagnosed with “a form of cancer” and is stepping down from public duties while he undergoes treatment. What do you think?

Test your knowledge of Black history and the contributions of African Americans by taking The Onion’s quiz.

Conservative media figures recently began circulating conspiracy theories that Taylor Swift is part of a government-funded psyop to get President Joe Biden reelected. The Onion asked fans how they felt about the right-wing attacks, and this is what they said.

BANDERA, TX—Admitting that he was actually a lot more shy and reserved than folks might think, introverted cowboy Cassidy Walsh sheepishly told reporters Friday that he’d been struggling lately to round up a posse. “While I might seem confident and outgoing at times, the truth is, I’m the sort of feller who needs to…

WASHINGTON—Lamenting the fact that they’ll be paying off those fuckers for the rest of their lives, the nation’s uncles reported, “That shit adds up quickly,” in an announcement Tuesday. “I’m telling you, these guys will go on and on about the deal of a lifetime, then boom, you’ll get your ass in a sling,” said local…

NEW YORK—Calling the breakthrough a major step forward in the enigmatic case of the aviator’s disappearance, experts announced Tuesday they had discovered Amelia Earhart’s long-lost Lockheed 10-E Electra plane on an auxiliary runway at LaGuardia Airport. “Based on our analysis, it appears that during Earhart’s…

ST. LOUIS—Expanding its product offerings beyond its long-running line of chewable tablets, antacid manufacturer Tums introduced a new sternly worded note Tuesday that reportedly works by reminding consumers they know better than to eat that stuff in the first place. “The best method of heartburn relief remains having…