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Новости за 09.02.2024

Research Indicates Viagra Might Help Combat Alzheimer’s

TheOnion.com 

New research from scientists in the U.K. indicates that older men taking Viagra are 18% less likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease, with the researchers speculating that because the medication relaxes blood vessels, it could be improving blood flow in the brain as well as other areas of the body. What do you think?

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Pros And Cons Of Casinos

TheOnion.com 

Chicago is the latest U.S. city to approve the construction of a casino, a move that has stoked both excitement and controversy among residents. The Onion looks at the pros and cons of casinos.

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Therapy: Myth Vs. Fact

TheOnion.com 

An estimated 40 million adults receive therapy treatment every year, but those considering therapy or even in therapy may encounter some common myths and misconceptions about what it can accomplish. The Onion debunks the most enduring myths about therapy.

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Nematode’s Dream!

TheOnion.com 

This pristine colon features a constant flow of nutrient-rich waste, ample space to raise larvae, and is just minutes from the anus for easy egg deposition! Emit your dorsal hooks and latch on today!

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Las Vegas Super Bowl Drives Record-Breaking Ticket Prices

TheOnion.com 

Between fans eager to see the spectacle of Vegas, Taylor Swift’s possible attendance, the star-studded halftime lineup, and the game itself, Super Bowl LVIII ticket prices have been driven up to a median of $8,776 per ticket and demand is still high, with one ticket resale service owner remarking that “billionaires…

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Bank Repossesses Brain Of Man Who Defaulted On Student Loans

TheOnion.com 

SPANISH FORK, UT—Entering his skull with a notarized affidavit and seizing the vital organ, agents dispatched Thursday by PNC Bank repossessed the brain of local man Dylan Turner, who had reportedly defaulted on his student loans. “Sorry, pal, but that brain is coming with us,” repo man Kyle Mickos said as he put away…

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Hungover Pope Francis Plays Bible-Themed Movie During Mass

TheOnion.com 

VATICAN CITY—Appearing at the altar of St. Peter’s Basilica in the same vestments he’d worn the day before, a hungover Pope Francis reportedly played a Bible-themed movie Thursday during morning mass. “All right, so today for church we’re going to watch a video I think everybody will enjoy,” the pope said in Latin,…

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