Новости за 16.02.2024

ATHENS, GREECE—With passage of the law marking a first for a majority Orthodox Christian nation, Greece officially legalized same-sex marriage Thursday in a bid to do more of that wedding dance they do, according to members of Parliament. “This is a historic moment that will dramatically increase the number of times a…

LONDON—Eliciting loud gasps from spectators as he posed for photos, actor Timothée Chalamet stunned at the Dune: Part Two premiere Thursday night by wearing a metal saucepan on his head. “It was a daring fashion choice, but Chalamet certainly made a statement by donning a 3-quart All-Clad stainless steel saucepan on…

Citing issues like limited usability and headaches, many Apple Vision Pro owners have begun returning their devices, which retail for $3,500. What do you think?

BRUSSELS—Implicating the Russian leader directly for his role in Alexei Navalny’s passing, world leaders issued a joint statement Friday pledging that President Vladimir Putin would go unpunished. “Mark our words, the European Union will spare no effort in ensuring that Putin experiences absolutely no …

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LOS ANGELES—Noting that the project would usher in an entirely new era for her, Jennifer Lopez confirmed Friday that This Is Me…Now was not only a movie musical, an album, and a tour, but also a new autocratic nation-state. “This Is Me...Now means so much to me, both because it truly represents who I am at this stage…

SILVER SPRING, MD—Amid a shortage caused by rising demand, manufacturing issues, and federal limits on production, the Food and Drug Administration confirmed Friday that the inadequate supply of ADHD drugs was forcing more parents to beat their children. “Faced with out-of-stock pharmacies and few viable alternatives,…

RENO, NV—Pointing up at the sky as he landed a bank shot, local basketball player Alan Jennings credited Kobe Bryant for inspiring him to score a career-high four points in his rec league game Thursday night. “Kobe’s dedication taught me that amazing things happen when you just get out there and play for the love of…

With some country radio stations initially reluctant to play the pop star’s latest releases “Texas Hold ’Em” and “16 Carriages,” The Onion asked country music fans why they would never listen to Beyoncé, and this is what they said.

Representatives for Usher confirmed that the the star and longtime girlfriend Jennifer Goicoechea, a senior vice president at Epic Records, tied the knot at the Vegas Weddings chapel after the Super Bowl where Usher headlined the halftime show, with the couple stating that they “look forward to continuing to raise…

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WASHINGTON—Moments after pulling shut the door to the Roosevelt Room and locking it behind her, a terrified Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly told aides to “Stab him! Stab him, you cowards!” on Friday after she plunged a knife into President Joe Biden’s back. “What are you waiting for, you fools? Strike now!…

GRAPEVINE, TX—In the midst of a skirmish over someone’s cart blocking a parking spot at Walmart, sources confirmed the hair of local woman Deena Platt puffed up to several times its usual size Friday, intimidating her rival female shoppers. According to witnesses, after Platt paused to take a long drag off her…